The Lexicon of Markov
| First Term: | March 4, 1913 - March 4, 1921 |
| Predecessor: | William Howard Taft |
| Successor: | Ronald McDonald |
| Second Term: | March 4, 1949 - March 4, 1953 |
| Predecessor: | Hector Boyardee |
| Successor: | Guy Farmer |
| Third Term: | March 4, 1977 - March 4, 1985 |
| Predecessor: | Gerald Ford |
| Successor: | Tou Pee |
| Full Name: | Aurelian Lucius Shaft |
| Titles: | President Vice President Senator Lieutenant Favourite Customer (by Boyardee) Saviour of Thejistan Epic Gamer The Shaftinator (L-TX) |
| Birthplace: | Legends say two unicorns had hardcore sex and Shaft emerged from the tsucummi, in Vermont, United States, Earth. |
| Age: | 69 (Physically)
185 (As of IWTBH2) |
| Height: | 6'2" |
| Relationships: | Artemis Shaft (Father) Margaret Burr (Mother) Anna Marie Oyster (First Wife, 1880-1902) Susan Pousi (Second Wife, 1914-1934) Granny White (Third Wife, 1974-Present) Richard Groshart-Shaft (Disputed Son) Dominic Groshart (Disputed Grandson) Jerma Elbertson (Biological Son) John Shaft (Biological Son) Pauline May Shaft (Biological Daughter) Biggs Shaft (Brother) Wedge Shaft (Brother) Penn I. S. Shaft (Cousin) Barbeque Flavor Chips (President during Shaft's term as Vice President) Thomas Christ (Vice President in first term) Hector Boyardee (Vice President in second term, among other things) Shigeru Miyamoto (Vice President in third term, 1977 - 1981) Ralph Handers (Vice President in third term, 1981 - 1985) DJ Khalid (Ex-Lover) TheMonsterSpawnerEpic (Mortal Enemy) The Relanodt Royal Family (Mjothvs Lineage) |
| Alignment: | Lawful Neutral |
| Appearances: | Every entry |